I'm so sad :(

Today has been a hard day. This week has been a week from hell, but today was the frosting on the cake.

Dad was released from the hospital on Thursday and went to a rehab center to get some therapy for his shoulder. He will be there for a bit, which is good and bad. Good that he is being taken care of and kept safe. Bad, because he hates it there and cries to go home. I can't handle that. My heart broke today when I hugged him and he sobbed on my shoulder, "I want to go home." I have to wonder if it will get easier.

The blessing is that I am available to be at his side every day if needed. I couldn't do that before, but now I can, and there hasn't been one second that I have regretted my decision to not work. I am where I am supposed to be right now and I know that someone is watching over me and making things work out just right. I only have one dad and one family. I need to be there for them.

Charity--the pure love of Christ

For the longest time, I never really knew what "charity" meant. I thought one day, I'm going to look it up and do some research. The pure love of Christ. How I wish I had that in my heart. I don't and I feel it will be a long time before I will have it.

Last weekend, Kate and I were driving doing errands. We were talking and I was expressing how much hatred I feel in my heart for certain people. I don't use the word hate very often because I feel it is a strong word, but I have actually felt it lately and it bothers me. I said something to the effect of "I wish I didn't hate so much." In her 18 year old wisdom, she looked at me and said, "it will come Mom. Give it time." Thank you sweetheart. I needed to hear your wisdom right then.

Every day we come in contact with people. It is our choice whether to bring them into our circle or to exclude them. I am grateful for my circle. I am grateful for those friends of mine who I choose to keep in my circle. Be wise who you let in. There are those who will deceive you and will betray you like Judas.

I have all that I need in my life and I am grateful for every one in it. You all need to know how very much I love each of you and appreciate your support.

My Cup Runneth Over....

Just when I think how great life is, it gets better. Really! I am so amazed at the goodness in my life lately.

Robbie and Brandee are going to have another baby. That means that in June I will be a grandma again, and then in July, I am going to be a grandma again too! Is life the best?

Things are in perspective right now in my life. Family....that's all that matters. Family is everything. Friday night, my dad came up missing again. This time he was on foot and was missing for 4 hours. The police found him in West Bountiful, after he knocked on someone's door and told them he was confused and lost. That is sad.

They brought him home, but he was injured. He had fallen and was bruised up a bit. After a long night in the emergency room, he was admitted with a broken shoulder, pneumonia and a urine infection. He is in the hospital, on IV's and learning how to do things with his right arm. He's a leftie you know.

Wow, it is hard to describe how hard it is to see your dad, lay there helpless in the hospital, asking you over and over again, "how did I get here?"

A little piece of your heart breaks each time he asks that. For somewhere down deep, you just wish he would be the same "dad" you grew up with. The big, tough guy who could do anything and would do anything for anybody. I love that man so much. He is probably my first hero.

Sundays....

I know, I know. But I just got back from church. There has been so much on my mind this past week, plus a death. I just needed to talk about sitting in church and being spiritually fed. It was good!!

First, a scripture that hit me hard...Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? What kind of fruit will they know you by? I pondered that today. I know a few people that I know what kind of fruit they gather and it's nothing but thorns. I feel sorrow for them on the day of their funeral, because no one will be there and no nice words spoken.

No matter how bad or unfair people treat me, I will still be loved by the most important people and by my Heavenly Father and my Savior.

Another scripture that I have relied on this week is...

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how much I am hurting or how much I seem to dump on the Lord, He is always there for me. Always. How can I repay Him for that blessing? By doing everything I possibly can to make sure I return to live with him.

My Katie Bug

I miss her! So, so much.

I drove up to Logan today to spend the day with Kate. She hasn't been home for 2 weeks going on 3. I just had to have my Katie fix, I guess. We had a great day. I got there, we chilled for a bit, got caught up on the latest happenings in our lives. Then we decided to go to WalMart and get Leisa a birthday cake cause it's her birthday today.

We got her a gift card too. Then we went back to their apartment and got Leisa. We decided to celebrate her birthday by going to Olive Garden, we were so hungry. Yum Yum Yum! After about 3 or 4 ravioli's and 3 or 4 breadsticks, we were full. The girls took all the leftovers home with them to eat for Sunday dinner today.

My boys tease me that Katie is too attached (literally) to me. But we decided we don't care. We don't care one little bit. If the truth were told, I miss all my kido's. I wish they could all live with me forever and we could hang out. They are my best friends. They are who I trust no matter what. I know they have my back. The greatest thing I have ever done in my life is to have my babies. They are the reason I was born.

And if I can spend a couple more months or years with Katie before she finds her true love, I will take it and treasure it. It all goes by way too fast.