Heaven and Hell

One of our family's favorite shows, is "Field of Dreams." I have a favorite scene in that movie towards the end. It's when the dad asks Kevin Costner, his son, "is this heaven?" Kevin Costner replies, "no this is Iowa." But what makes this scene so special in my eyes, is that the show is saying, "heaven is where dreams come true." So, the dad always wanted to play catch with his son, Kevin Costner, but because they didn't get along and were estranged his whole life, the dad never got to see his dream come true. At the end of the story, the dad gets to have a catch with his son....his dream finally came true. Is this heaven? Yes, sometimes I believe we can have a little piece of heaven shown to us while we are here on earth.

My mom is in heaven. I think of her a lot. I know she sees me and my family. She is still part of my life. When Gabe gives me a kiss or hug, I know she is smiling up in heaven. How she would have loved Gabe! I never want my mom to be disappointed in the mom or grandmother I am. She was my example. She showed me how to love.

Another one of my favorite shows is Ghost, with Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. I know it's kinda corny, but there is a scene in that movie that spooks me. It is also towards the end of the movie. The bad guy who killed Patrick Swayze is trying to kill Whoopie Goldberg. As he runs out of the building and into the street, he is hit by a car. He dies immediately, but his spirit leaves his body and starts to look around. Patrick Swayze tells him he is dead. Right then, these spooky little black shadows come up from the ground, or hell, chase him and swarm over his body. They grab him and he disappears down to hell with them, all the time screaming.

I am a visual learner. These two scenes from two different movies have taught me so much. Heaven vs. Hell. My family up in heaven sees me and the way I live my life. They are my examples. They are either smiling or frowning down on me. I strive to do good things. I try hard to be kind to all. I try to help when I can. I try to set an example for My children. Because They are my heaven on earth. If I do horrible things intentionally, be mean to others....there's always those little black shadows lurking around, right?

Dr. Phil

Dr. Phil is my idol. I mean it. I love that guy. I think the thing that I love the most about him is the way he just says things right out. Instead of beating around the bush, he just says it. That's what I love. So many people find excuses to blame others for their mistakes. So many people lie to make themselves look good. So many people don't want to look in the mirror because if they did, would they like what they see. Probably not. I believe those people are idiots. One day, they will have to deal with who they are and what they have done with their lives or what they have not done with their lives.

Today on Dr. Phil, he was asking a guy who had an affair with one of his employees, did you mean for this to happen? The guy said, "no." Dr. Phil said "so, you would drive over to this person's house in your car, do whatever you would do with her, then leave and go home to your wife? The guy said, "yes, but I wasn't looking to have an affair." Dr. Phil said, "that is not a "WHOOPS. That is a premeditated decision to clandestinely affiliate with someone else on a repeated basis. That is a conscious and premeditated act that you made the decision to do. The problem with affairs is not who you lie with, but who you lie to." How many people are affected by your selfish acts?

Enough said.

Or what about those people and we all know them, who continually attempt to justify their actions. It's like you just want to scream, "just shut up and admit that you screwed up." You messed up. You are a fake. I would respect someone so much more if they were to be honest and truthful right out front, then try to justify every action they take or every word they say. Seriously, that's the problem in today's world, everyone tries to blame everyone else, instead of growing some balls and admitting they are the problem. What are we teaching our children? To lie and justify everything to get out of trouble? That isn't right.

When I look in the mirror, I like what I see. I like the person I am and the person I have been. I hopefully will like the person who I am going to be in the future too. There's so many things that the future holds. It's gonna be great!

I am not perfect. I am far from it. But I am humble enough to realize that when I hurt someone's feelings, I say I'm sorry. Ron probably disagrees with me on that. Huh, dear??? Love ya!

You must take chances. If you do nothing, you reduce the possibilities you
have for greater joy!

This year

2009 has been pretty good so far. Life is going great! I decided to go back to school in the summer, got my acceptance into WSU and a course catalog. Weird at 50 years old huh? I originally started out my college career majoring in business and I have two years down, 2 to go. I believe I will continue with the business degree, throwing in some management classes, computer classes and some accounting perhaps.

The family is doing super and the baby beans are growing into little babies. The ultrasound yesterday was amazing. Dash was all over the place and his little profile looks so incredible. March is the month for Brands and Robs. I can hardly wait to see that one. I was so amazed by the ultrasound yesterday, who knows, maybe I can do ultrasounds. That sounds fun, huh???

I have been guided so much through this journey by my Heavenly Father. I am convinced He knows the best plan for me and I will continue to listen.

I have a sick tummy....TTFN (ta ta for now!)

My Dad

I love my dad...so much. He is getting older and his health is failing. Today I took him to get an MRI done at the University of Utah Neurological Dept. We are having him seen by a specialist that treats Alzheimer's. At this point, the doctor is not sure what is happening with my dad. Tuesday, he has an appt with a heart doctor so they can run some tests for blockages in his carotid arteries. I just hope and pray that we can get some answers, some solutions, some help. Since November, he has been through a pretty rough patch.
Grandpa Jim is needing our help too. Ron and I decided it is not fun to get old. But if we can help at all by taking them to doctor appts, tests, getting medicine for them, then we will do it.

We all get old, it's a fact of life. Are we ready to get old? Have we lived every day of our lives to the fullest and done something everyday to help someone? Once that day is gone, we never get it back. Do I regret things? Yes, I regret not seeing my mom enough and not saying "I love you," to her before she died. I thought, "she will be around for a long time. I can say it later." If I only had 5 more minutes with her, I would wrap my arms around her and hug her tight, kiss her cheek, and tell her how much I love her and what a great mom she was.

I learned that lesson the hard way. Whenever I see my dad, I hug him, kiss him and tell him, "I love you." When I put him in the car, I do up his seat belt, kiss his cheek and tell him "I love you". When I help him walk, I grab his hand and tell him "I love you".

I don't know how much longer I will have my dad with me in this life. But I know that I will never regret the times I share with him. So, I will take what I can and treasure it with all my heart. Thank you Dad for being a great dad to me!